Why Beauty Pageants Can Be Fun…

Vaseline.

You get to spray Sticky Hands all over your ass cheeks then stand around and talk to beauty pageant girls as if your sticky ass cheeks aren’t hanging out of your bathing suit.

If you are a really bad singer, you get to be a really bad singer with a guaranteed audience.

If during interviews, you blank out like Palin on camera, you can blame it on nervousness.

If while running for Vice President, you blank out on camera, you can blame it on beauty pageants.